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..1. Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men wou...d be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an “OFF” switch10. There would be no “Hooters”11. A man’s paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation. Alan was relaxing on the couch, zapping through channels on the TV - all boring to him. Out of nothing, his mother popped up, almost scaring him like that, sitting on the chair next to the couch."Oh no..." Oh yes! Alan, I think we need to have a talk." God, mom, no, I know where babies come fro-" I'm not talking about that, Alan! It's about our relationship. Something has to change." Oh no.", Alan replied, bored by his mother yet again trying to change something about their relationship. He was. This too was meticulously licked and cleaned up, so that her skin was no longer sticky with the sweet fruit juice, but shone with saliva in the late summer twilight that was cascading in through the open window, the light lace drapes blowing back and forth with the light breeze. The room was now filled with the sweet, heady scent of the citrus that had been used to map out her body. It was a strong scent that reminded him of running through the orchards as a child. One brush of a hand against. "Would you care for some lemonade," she asked. We sat in her living room and small-talked, and she told me she had run into Lorene at the salon, and learned that she was going out of town. She said she told Lorene she would make dinner for me, and for a sinister reason I asked, "Hmmm...what did she say?" "Oh, she said she thought it would be wonderful for both of us," she replied. Yeah...I could smell trouble in the wind. We had a delicious meal, and my lemonade glass was always full. I helped.
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